11:05 a.m. - 2007-08-28
Authentic or Synthetic?
Which are you?
Has the cyber world diluted your truth?
Are you addicted?
Is it who you really are?
Do you say you are something that you are not creating an "empty virtual self" to get the attention you lack because your reality is so empty?
All these questions came to mind after reading the Wall Street Journal article "Is this Man Cheating on His Wife?" dated Friday, August 10, 2007 last week. My friend Jim who is a writer for SNL amongst many other LA gigs turned me onto synthetic identities. I know that none of this is new but reading the article actually irratated me beyond belief. Avatar's - and their cyber virtualness as Jim puts it is living without courage or convictions. What came to my mind was....Why would women and men do this when there are so many lonely people in the world? Oh....is it because they are afraid of getting hurt and instead of working hard at a real relationship they think a virtual experience is safe? My question, is safe from what? Pain, disappointment, love, joy? Or is it truly just a game? Personally, I would prefer to really feel my pain that I am going through as of late, then trying to bury my issues so deep within myself that I can't find them when I really need them. A game isn't going to replace the touch of your lover on your skin, the way your lips meet when you really know one another, speaking without saying a word from across a room through your eyes.
I frankly could not believe that this guy they interviewed didn't think anything was wrong with playing this game for 15 hours at a time, paying for a virtual wife let alone paying for this virtual life and spending most of his time developing and nurturing something that is not real.... but a game/cartoon. This woman that he is married "virtually to" was interviewed also saying that they tell each other everything and they have no secrets. It is fun and they both are addicted to it. They also plan on never meeting or speaking - ever. They just type. The most important part of the story... is that this guy is newly married for the last seven months and his marriage is disolving quickly. His wife indicates that she has a hard time watching him have sex on the computer with a cartoon. Really...do you think? And even more disturbing, he candidly says that he is more interested in having sex with a cartoon than developing his new life with his new bride. In essence, he has traded his life for a pixilated fantasy existence.
He concludes in the article that this life is so wonderful; that this is just a game and it's better than real life. Because nobody ever gets fat, nobody gets gray and nobody gets hurt because no one is really cheating. The article states that there are 30 million people who do this or something equivelant. Nearly 40% of men and 53% of women who play online games say that their virutal friends were equal to or better than their real-life friends. And when a survey conducted by Nick Yee, a recent Ph.D from Stanford University was given to 30,000 gamers, more than a quarter said the emotional highlight of the past week occurred in a computer world.
I want no part of it ever.
I want to be authentic in every avenue of my life. Cyberly, physically, spiritually, mentally. This diary will represent who I really am, not the pretend person or the person I think I should be. I will be frank, blunt and honest about myself. I will tell you that I am deeply flawed but I am compassionate to all and in all ways.
And yes.... I am lonely, and yes I truly miss having someone to be close with but I don't want to be a cartoon or play with one sexually. I want the real deal.
I say who I am. What I write is what I think or what has really happened. No pretenses, no bull. You like it or leave it.
And Gamers of the world...I have no problem with you at all. Go for it, have fun and enjoy! This entry is not about you.
Captain Jack's of the world....
I have a problem with you!
