1:53 p.m. - 2007-09-17
Tell me you love me
I started watching a captivating show on Sunday’s called 'Tell Me You Love Me,' a show about four couples who intimately must look at the painful real issues with regards to love, trust, marriage, passion etc. And the bottom line is that most of them and probably (us) do not face the truths that are present within our existance's and so the facade stays up; and in their and our minds does it all stay good? Probably. That honestly most of us who are in relationship's are still so terribly lonely. And how did we get there and why do we stay?
Hauntingly addictive and it draws you in like a magnet. Its creativeness is as different as the stories that unfold. They are announced and then spoken without words.
And the sex...is powerful real. You feel it and it is real.
It shows us that we basically live within a whole culture of fear; everything geared towards being beautiful and sexual. And it makes you really think. Am I one of those and have I just gotten caught up in the frenzy? Are people suffering because some magazine editor/media giant has decided that they should be having sex three times a week, and if they aren't, well, sorry Charlie? Or because they aren’t a size 2, that they mean nothing to the world or to others. I am the first to admit that I am a sexual being; I desire being intimate with someone, but because I am not now, does that make me a loser? And does the fact that I am not ultra thin in turn make my picking’s less in a society of conformists?
I don't have any patience for artifice anymore, and I think people have a collective awareness of what's real, what's authentic. I see the moments on the show play out, including what is "unspoken" in those moments. Because that's how you live -- people are not chattering non-stop. And if they are, they're not pure. I see myself in a lot of it. The denials, the insecurities, the lack of trust and most importantly not embracing who the real sexual ko was fully before children, divorce etc. And why did I lose it all? Why did I want it so much as of late?
Being in this weird relationship with Rick, well it was more often about what was “not said” and what was “hidden”, and what “came to light” and “why it came to light”, that made the relationship what it was. At least that is how I see it.
We were voyeuristic; both of us in a lot of ways. He wrote words that seduced though they were unspoken to my face and I watched unknowingly to his self through the screen. But I didn't want to turn away. And even if I did want to turn away, I wanted to come back because his words drew me to him. And that's the journey of people that really care. They want to know the truth even if it is hard. Even if they don't say it to your face. They want to feel secure, loved and needed.... tell me you love me.
