7:45 a.m. - 2007-09-27
The Harvest Moon
I watched the Harvest Moon rise over the horizon last night with all its brilliance and charm. It is the prettiest moon of the year and I look forward to seeing it in all of its glory every year. And this year did not disappoint.
It has a way to make you reflect. To think of past autumns, past relationships, or in my case it just brings out my intuitive nature. It always makes me think of my father and mother’s house, caramel apples, the smell of freshly baked bread, wheat fields, my grandfather's pipe, leaves turning and the start of nature’s life cycle again.
As I listened to Chris Botti’s hauntingly fabulous new CD “Italia” track 1 "Once Upon a Time in America or Deborah's Theme" on my balcony looking at the moon, I realized how much has happened since I saw this sight a year ago. I have had experiences that I could never have imagined happening to me and who knows what the future may hold. And though at this moment in time, I am in exquisite heartbreaking pain; more than I have ever been in my life, (and as the music floats through the quiet night) I know that I have grown profoundly.
Reaching my goal of getting into Deerfield and moving into my beautiful condo last Nov., meeting Chris Botti and having him say that "I was one of the most stimulating creatures he has ever met", going to Sarasota, driving in an antique convertible over turquoise blue waters with someone who taught me so much about the world and myself, loving every moment of laughter, tears, and reunions in Arizona with Gina, seeing Julie and her kids after 10+ years, losing 58+ lbs since February, having Snooz in my life who has done so much for me and without a doubt has saved me from jumping, meeting the Pete Miller friend’s Joe, Dave, Jack, Michael, having my daughter graduate with honors from 8th grade and starting high school with confidence that I never possessed, writing, meeting the fab Jim Feldman by fate, and....
For the chance to say....
That I have looked for love my whole life.
And even though, I haven't found him yet....and if I don't in time....I have truly loved him who ever he is.....
I have....and through typed tears, as I look at the most beautiful moon of the year, listening to the velvet sound of Chris' "The Very Thought of You", I can say, wherever you are.....
I will love you always.
